The Pressure to Become a Perfect Mother

Posted On December 14, 2017

Has it ever occurred to you the pressure to become a perfect Mother? This driving force to become a perfect Mother is you yourself or the community/society that you live in? I believe, it is both the factors that impact us.

But why is this happening? Why raising a kid has been everybody’s business but not the Mother herself? Has it always been like this?

I don’t think so. There were times when people used to be more chilled around kids; they were not cocooned all the time. There weren’t used to be strict timetables, schedules for kids to become and behave in a certain way.

These precedented practices compel anyone to think and act accordingly even our mind opt for other possibilities. It’s because we tend to think it is the right thing to do. The thrust to execute those practices into real life builds up the stress and tension to become a perfect Mother.

The weird looks, embarrassment, awkwardness, feeling ashamed are some of the emotions that arise when we can’t handle the situations in public with our little one.

We feel judged even though we’re not poked or spoken directly by the strangers. It’s the attitude and body language that makes the situation uneasy. So, we cry out for a standard & habitual circumstances that suit everybody but not the inner us.

“Let’s create a situation where your baby has a dirty diaper while travelling on a bus/train where there is no baby changing cabin. You’re already anxious about the situation, the foul smell and some passengers reactions.

Suddenly one passenger noticed the smell and said something nasty to another passenger. They made their faces, gave dirty looks and even talked about it.

You know your destination is just a few stops away but as you’ve embarrassed yourself way too much, you decided to make your way to the next stop without saying anything.”

I know some of you may not agree with me and might decide to stay or even say something back. But have you thought about the other way round? What you would’ve done in that situation?

Be practical here, somewhere even you might wish them to leave or might even give a look. Isn’t it? That’s what I am talking about. It’s just that look that matters which makes the circumstances uneasy and anxious for the parents.

This is just one example. If you have a baby, you will understand what kinds of situations you have to undergo in an everyday life.

These few incidents make your brain alert during similar situations to react in a certain way i.e. whether to escape, to rebel or to simply ignore. It’s your call; however, the community/society where we are, it becomes a duty of a responsible citizen to act in a proper way.

These small things pressurize oneself to act as a good citizen even there is an inner conflict going on. The perfect world is in the frame of mind, belief, idea and an opinion that we construct for others who are different.

Mothers are an exception to it. There is no frame of mind when dealing with a child. Whether the child is crying, yelling, screaming or acting up, it should not be anybody’s business but only their parents. Others have to carry on with their own.

We have to let the child be child and Mothers be Mothers. Next time if you encounter the situation where a child and their mother is having a tiff, tantrums or anything that annoys you, you should mind your own business. If you can’t be of any help to them don’t even make the situation worse.

Finally, for Mothers, it’s never easy when you are under pressure to become a good citizen when you have a baby. So, commit yourself to your family first rather than to the world.

The pressure to become a perfect Mother should not exist. Nothing is perfect; perfection is merely an illusion. So, whatever you are doing and handling the situation is right for you and your family. Don’t let others opinion and judgement affect your well-being so, keep doing what you are doing.

Best of Luck.

Read similar articles like this: