Why saying ‘NO’ is important to the child?

Posted On March 14, 2019

Many parents might disagree when it’s about saying ‘No’ to their children. Even I was taught in some parenting class that it’s not good to say ‘No’ to your child. Instead, we are taught to tell them what should be done without saying ‘No’.

It’s really good advice, isn’t it? So, for e.g. instead of saying ‘No running’ say ‘walk slowly’. I liked this technique a lot. Even I followed most of the footsteps of those learnings.

I kept telling myself that I have to stop saying ‘No’ and start talking more positively. You might be thinking ‘Did this technic work?. Even I questioned myself a lot about if it worked?

I don’t know if it worked or not but the most important lesson that I learned today is the importance of saying ‘No’.

I am not a parenting expert to suggest any parents on what I believe. Everyone has their own technics to discipline their children. It depends on where they came from and what culture and tradition they follow.

Every culture has its own valuable teachings. It’s only up to us to take it how we wanted it to. Our knowledge and understanding can be influenced by others or our own experiences but the teachings stands where it is. We just need to keep reminding ourselves that this teachings exists.

Significance of saying ‘No’

We all are aware of the uncertainty of our lives. In our beautiful journey towards life, we find many situations, people or things that might not treat us the way we wanted to.

We have to face many difficulties in every stages of our journey whether be it from kindergarten to our own death bed. From childhood if we don’t learn how to be content and adaptable then life would not even treat us well.

Therefore, when we decide not to say ‘No’ to our kids, we are protecting them from the harsh reality of life. Have we ever thought about how it’s going to affect that same child when he grows up?

The adult who hasn’t heard ‘No’ from their childhood, would have to face many consequences in their life such as rejection, failure, depression, anger, jealousy, anxiety and so on. There is more possibility that they suffer emotionally, physically and socially more than others.

On the contrary, the adult who knows the reality of life could easily navigate and walk across calmly. They will be able to adapt to any uncomfortable situations, people and things without much effort.

This way their emotional and physical well-being will be much more stable. And when they are emotionally strong, they can make a lot of difference in the lives of people and society.

Differentiate between children’s ‘Need’ and ‘Want’

Hence, as a parent, if we are not capable to afford or provide our kids with the things they want, then it’s ok to say ‘No’ until and unless we are fulfilling what they actually need.

Children need is our love and support. And it’s our duty as a parent to teach our kids the true value of love.

It’s not a crime to say ‘No’. A lot of parents assume that saying ‘No’ to their kids would make them a bad parent. It’s important to understand that short term fix will not prevent your child’s future from being turmoil.

So, it’s better to be a villain at present than later when they grow up and question your parenting style.

Children grasp information much more than adults. So, plant the seed from now to get the better result tomorrow. If you think, they’ll get hurt and curse you for saying ‘No’ then you are thinking too much. It’s their age to learn, learn and only learn.

They will be thanking you for making them what they will be later in the future which is emotionally and mentally strong.

Thank you.

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